Sorry I took so long to post guys. You know I like to keep them coming but my daughter broke my aptop charger so I had to wait for them to send me a new one to charge it up. But I'm here now.
SHOUT OUTS TO KILLA! because she's like my #1 fan and I love her that. Im going to dedicate a chapter to you but not this one I'll make sure its a nice one though.
hypnotiqq
P.S. - sorry this entry is kind of short.
I couldn't believe that my bestfriend just died less than two hours ago. I couldn't sleep because the images of her bruised body was still in my head. I feel so guilty because of
my big mouth Tristan beat her to death because of me. I heard my door open but I didn't move, "Baby you awake?" it was my mother's voice. I decided not to answer I didn't
feel like talking. All I could do was imagine Tristan beating her I just began to cry. "Briana, I'm so sorry baby I'm so sorry I know she was your bestfriend" my mother said rubbing
my back. "Mommy I just want to be alone right now please!" I cried. "Baby just talk to me" "Ma please! Just leave me alone!" I said getting up and going in the bathroom and
locking the door. I sat on the edge of the tub and cried my eyes out. I got in the tub and laid down and curled up like I used to do when I was a little girl and I thought that
Freddy was in my closet and I finally fell asleep. I woke up to the banging of the bathroom door "Briana come out!" Brian said, I didn't move I just laid there. It was going on
2:00pm when I decided to come out of the bathroom. I went to take a shower and I went to walk MiMi and Nicko to clear my head. When I went to the park I ran into Nasir and
his friends. I had on my Marc Jacobs so no one could see my eyes with my black uggs and my black northface, winter was here and it was really cold outside. He came over to
me and kissed me on the cheek and grabbed my hand. "Hey, I called you but I didn't get no answer, you alright?" "Yea I'm alright" I said continuing to walk letting go of his hand.
He jumped in front of my stopping me, he took off my shades and looked me in my eyes. It felt like he could see right through me and he knew I was hurting on the inside
because I honestly felt like shit. "Don't lie to me Briana, I can look at you and tell you not alright" "Well no shit Nasir my bestfriend just died!"I yelled at him. He took the leashes
from me and pulled me close to him and I just began to cry, it hurt me to say that. "I should've been there" I cried, "It wasn't your fault Briana". I pulled away from him "I have
to go" I said putting my shades back on. "Briana come here please" he called after me as I walked away taking the leashes from him. When I got in Brian was on the couch
watching t|v with Tremaine. "Hey Bri" Tremaine said. I just walked upstairs and Nicko and MiMi followed behind me. When I got in my room I just sat on my bed and stared at
the wall I was losing my mind over Monica. Tristan had it coming to him one way or the other he was gonna get his. After laying on my bed for 15 minutes I fell asleep.
I woke up from a nightmare of Tristan beating Monica and I just began crying. I felt so sick, I couldn't eat and I was just miserable. Nasir called me 6 times on the 7th I decided
to answer.
"Hello"
"Hey Baby"
There was a moment of silence.
"Briana, Im sorry about Monica, and if there is anything you want me to do let me know"
"I miss her so much" I began to cry, thinking on the good times we had together.
"You know I don't like when you upset baby, come take a walk with me"
"I don't feel good"
"Just a walk Bri, I wanna talk to you"
"Alright" I said blowing out air, I hated acting like a bitch to him but it was just the way I was feeling. When I got outside Nasir was on my steps texting on his phone. We greeted
each other with a kiss on the lips and a hug. He held my hand and we started walking to the park.
"I love you" he said kissing my hand
"I love you too"
"How you feeling?"
"Like shit"
"Everything gonna be alright"
"Nas, I feel like this shit was my fault, but if my friend couldn't stand up for herself I was going to do it, I just I hate him so much. He was in jail for two days but since there
is like no evidence the most he could get is felony charge and do little jail time. I wish this nigga was dead" I said getting angry.
"Calm down Briana"
"Nasir you said if there was anything you could do let you know right?"
"Yea, why"
"I want him dead"
"You want me to kill him?"
"No I don't want you to do but like get one of your trigger happy friends to do it". He looked at me and saw that I was serious and then he did a long pause.
"Alright, he's dead" I didn't know if I should say thank you or what so we just walked continues to walk. I began feeling sick again so we sat down on our bench. Nasir loved
my hair so he began playing in it. "Why you so quiet?" I said looking up at him. "No reason" "I'm cold" Nasir took off his jacket and put around me. "You warm now?" "No I need
you to hold me" Nasir pulled me close to him and kissed me the tears just came. He wiped them from my eyes and we continued kissing. We lost track of time and it was going
on 11 as we just sat there making out. His phone began vibrating in the pocket of his jacket so I took it out and gave it to him. "Hello.....Yea.....Nah chillen with wifey.....
Aight....I got a job for you.....Yea......at 1 then. "Now where were we?" he said hanging up. "You were about to take me home". We got up and walked to my house hand in
hand. We when I got in my mother was sitting on the couch watching t|v while my father was laying on her lap reading. I went into the kitchen and lifted the pot tops and
saw my mother made curry chicken with white rice. I made me a plate and went upstairs. Monica's funeral was in two days and I didn't know if I was ready to see her laying
there. I wasn't feelin so good myself anyway, I felt like my life was all over the place. After I ate I took my shower and went to sleep, tomorrow was going to be a new day.
