Too damn easy

 

 

 

.......“You live around here?” I heard the tall dark skinned brotha almost scream in my ear over the loud music as he tried to basically fuck me threw my tight jeans. I ignored the question pretending not to be able to hear him over the music. He grabbed my hips and little tighter and leaned in even closer to my ears asking the question again this time adding another question. “You live alone?” he asked before I could even answer the first question. It was only my senior year so it was a no brainer that I live with my family but he didn’t need to know that. I guess he assumed I was 21 since I was in the club with a drink in my hand (who could blame him) but like most horny men he didn’t notice (or care) the blue band around my arm (meaning under 21). I had been going to clubs since I was 17 shortly after revealing to my friend Jasmine I messed around with dudes. Jasmine and I had gone out for over a year threw out our sophomore and Junior years before she told me she was into girls more. After the shock I chucked it up to just bad luck and decided to be real cool friends (she was too cool to lose). It wasn’t until 3 months after I had sex with a dude that I told her I was bi but she was so cool (more like excited) about it that she couldn’t wait to take me to clubs. At first I didn’t want to go out to a gay club afraid I would be seen or it would change me (make me more fem or something I really don’t know where that fear was coming from). I had a hard time dealing with the fact that men felt it was ok to touch you (at that time not knowing how to stand up for myself on that side of things). Once I got cool enough with people “in the life” (dl or course) I started to meet different kind of men. From big, tall, older, black, white, and even rich as fuck. The gay world is funny like that you have users and the ones that get used sometimes even knowingly (I guess it not all that different form the heterosexual world). I found myself diving head first into the lifestyle for better or worst. It had only been a month of going clubbing and stuff like that but I already had 3 different “friends” none of which I was having sex with. I was never that kind of person and I promise I didn’t mean to play them the way I did but it was just too easy. After about 4 months of talking to the 3 of them I realized it was taking way too much of my time away from school causing my grades to drop (I had always been a “A” “B” student). The only solution was to drop them all. I know I know fucked up but it was all I could think to do. It seemed like as soon as they left I was able to focus on the work at hand (school). I was doing very well about not going about not going out and being good. Well that was until about 4 months later after summer brake in my senior year…. “Naw I don’t stay around here” I finally answered seeing he wasn’t about to let it go. “Well do you live alone? I don’t mind following you” he asked showing he wasn’t going to let distance interfere with a fuck. “Nope I sure don’t” I said hoping that would be the end of it and maybe even force him to find the hoe he was looking for somewhere else. I didn’t hear him say anything else so I guessed I got what I wanted until he said “You hear me?” I guess I didn’t hear him over the music the first time he asked. “O my bad…I didn’t her you” I loudly offered apologetically. “So what’s the name?” he repeated this time clearer as the DJ played a slower song (still loud) with breaks in between it. I thought about giving him my real name for a second since he didn’t just move on when he saw he wasn’t going to my house tonight. The thought quickly faded as I remember a bad experience with a dude I talked to named Kevin. “You can call me Mr. B” Finally I said in a joking way after turning around to face him. “Mr. B” he said seemingly insulted that I was giving him a bullshit name. Knowing by then how to handle men’s bruised ego I leaned up close to his ear with a little bit of a giggle in my voice and said “you can call me BB”….