ONE NIGHT....21

 How in the hell did I get here.  I am getting out the hospital today and Donna’s funeral is this Saturday.  I was grateful to her sister for waiting an extra week and a half to bury her, so that I can be there.  It still did not make any sense.  Donna was gone.  She was dead.  One minute she was there the other she was gone forever.  Vanessa was gone too.  She left town while I was still in the hospital.  I did not blame her.  Because of me she had lost her baby.  My baby too according to the test results she had sent to me.  How could I live knowing I was the reason behind my child’s death?  I had lost both my children the same day.  Moments like this I wished I had died instead of Donna.  Everything around me was crumbling down.  The nurse walked in with the wheel chair.  She was going to take me downstairs to meet Brandon, since he had gone to get the car.  Even my relationship with my best friend has changed.  He seemed angry, and he has not spoken much to me at all.  He looked like he has not slept at all. And he has lost a lot of weight.  He looks just as bad as I did.  Once down in the lobby Brandon got out of the car to help the nurse get me in on the passenger side.  I thanked her for all her help and then she shut the door.  Brandon went around to the driver’s side and got in without a word.  He pulled off and did not say a thing. 

We got to the house, and he helped me in, and headed to the master bedroom.  “No not there, take me to the guest room down the hall please.”  “Please shut the door.  I’m not ready to go in there yet.”  He helped me to the guest bedroom, and sat me down on the bed.   “Do you need anything before I leave?” 

“No thanks Brandon, you’ve already been very helpful.” 

“Ok well Donna’s sister should be her shortly, and the live in nurse will be here at 1:30.” 

“You know, I don’t need a live in nurse.  I can take care of myself.” 

“Not according to the doctor.  You were shot in the arm and the chest.  You can’t feel your hand, and you have to be on oxygen a night to help you breathe.  So guess what, you have got a nurse.”    The door bell rang and Brandon went to get the door.  I could here Donna’s sister voice.  A minute later, she walked into the room with Brandon right behind her. 

“Hey Jay, how are you sweetie?”  She walked over to give me a hug. 

“Ok guys I got to go. I have several things to do before the……before Saturday.  I will be back tomorrow to check on you.”   He leaned over and kissed Debra on the cheek.  “I will see you later.”

Brandon left as soon as he could he had forgotten how much Debra and Donna favored each other.  His heart stopped when he opened the door, and saw her standing there.  He needed to get out of there quickly, before he completely lost it.  He already felt like he was losing his grip.  Whenever he felt like this, bad things happen.  The last time he felt this out of control, he…..

He busted in to the master suite, catching his mother of guard. 

“Brandon what is going on?”

He was not surprised to see his mom in bed with the help.  Over the years he has come to know that his mom did not have to go far for some dick.  “Get out!”  He yelled at the man in his mother’s bed.

With Julio or José or whatever his name was scurrying around to pick p his clothes.  He walked over to his mother’s bed.  He threw the pictures and the documents at her.  “Explain this.” 

“Explain what?”  She picked up the pictures, and looked up at me. “Where did you get these?”  She got out of the bed in a haste still wearing her lingerie.  “Where did you find these?”   “ I found them in his office in a locked box.” 

“All these years he has had this bitch’s picture in my house.”  “That fucking bastard.”

“So you knew?”  “You know who these people are?” 

She dropped he papers and walked over to the bar in the bedroom.  She had it put in years ago so that she did not have to go far to get a drink.  She poured herself a scotch, straight.  She hunched over the bar.  “Get out Brandon, leave me alone.  Leave this alone.”  “Secrets should die with the dead.” 

He had had enough of her shit.  He walked over to her, and slapped the drink out of her hand.  “What the hell is wrong with you?”  “Can’t you go 5 minutes without guzzling alcohol?”  “Tell me about the pictures.”

She walked over to where she had dropped he pictures, and picked them up.  She sat on the bed.  Tears were falling from her eyes. “just remember you asked for this.”

“This is Emily.  She met your father while he was in New York on business.  She worked in the restaurant in the hotel he was staying in...”  “Every time he went to New York, he would see her.”  “He and I were not even married yet.   We were just dating at the time, then I found out she was pregnant.”  “I hired a private investigator to follow your father full time.”  “When I confronted him he told me, I had a good life, and I should enjoy it more, rather than chase after him” “Anthony was 2 when your father and I married, and 3 by the time you were born.”

She picked up the next picture, and I could see the hurt in her eyes, the pain. Then just as quick as it was there, it disappeared and was replace but pure hatred…

“This is Lynn.”   “She worked as an intern for you father many years ago.  I did not think anything of her, even though she was beautiful.   I thought you father would be faithful once we got married.  I did not know that I was lying to myself. Little did I know that your father had started sleeping with her a month after we got married.”  The affair started soon after she started working for your father.”  “When I found out about it, I confronted her, and told her to leave my husband alone.  Next thing I know she quit while you father was in China, she packed up everything and she left town.”  “He was devasted when he got back to find her gone.   I thought that he would pay me some attention now.  Instead he started drinking and staying out more.  He searched for her for months, and when he finally found her, he found out she was pregnant, and went after her.”   “Before he left to go to her we argued, and he told me that he was in love with her.”  “ I thought he said it just to hurt me, but he did not come back for 4 months.  I had to remind him that if I left him I would take more than half of everything he owned.”   “He came back but he moved into one of the other bedrooms.   He said he would not give me the satisfaction of getting all his money.”  “In his bedroom he kept a picture of her and Jason.  “Then one day he got word that she was very sick.  He was packing to leave, and go be with her.  I told him if he left you and I would not be here when he got back.”  He looked at me and said that I’m free to go anywhere I wish with my bastard.”

When she said those words I turned, and looked at her.  She was looking straight at me, with tears in her eyes.  She took a step towards me, and I raised my hand to stop her. 

“What did he mean by bastard, mom?”

“Baby let me explain…”

“Are you saying that I’m not…that he wasn’t my….”  I could not even bring myself to say the words.

“You need to understand.  He was never home, always away on business or with another woman….it was always another woman, never me.  I was tired of being in this big old house all by myself.  I have needs too.  I could not go on being ignored.  I was lonely.”

I have no idea how he found out. Gerald and I were so careful.

“Gerald?  The lawyer?”

  “But somehow he did. And he had known all along.  If I ever tried to leave, I would have had nothing.  He went to see Jason, after Lynn died.  Before he left he told me that he had arranged his will so that you and I would be cared for, but he left the bulk of everything for Jason, and his other two biological children.”  “ But he died before the new will could be found. So they went by the old will, which left you and I everything.”  “Then one day you come home from school with jason, and I figured out that neither of you knew the truth so, I kept it to myself.”

I was in shock as to what I was hearing.  The man I grew up with, admired, and loved was not my father...He was Jason’s father.  I was just an illegitimate bastard.

This wasn’t fair.  Jason got everything that belonged to me, my father, my money, and my father’s love.  I felt the rage building inside me.  It was taking over my mind.  I could no breath.  I needed to release my rage.  When my mother approached me, I reacted, quicker than I ever thought I could.  I did not mean to do it, but I hated her so much right now.  I could not control myself. One moment she was talking the next moment my hands were around her neck squeezing the life out of her.  I could not stop. Even when her hands were pulling at mine, or when her eyes became huge with fear.  I could not stop.  The further away she slipped away the calmer I got.  Even when her hands dropped, and her eyes were locked in death’s stare, I kept squeezing.  I released her and she dropped like a rag doll.   I sat on the floor next to her, and looked at her lifeless body, and felt at peace.  I will call someone and have them get rid of the body. 

I needed to get back what was mine.  I will do whatever is necessary to get what belongs to me.