With Arms around Me

              Conspiring Cousins  

          I couldn’t believe it when I discovered that my cousin’s mother had sat all of my personal boxes out in her back yard and had allowed the rain to destroy the contents inside. In addition to text books that I had used while attending college, I also had hundreds of pictures and other collectibles that were all ruined by water.  How anyone could have that much insensitivity flowing through their veins was beyond me, but instead of wallowing around in mourning over the loss of what could never be replaced, I managed to take her actions in stride to push ahead and move on with my life. 

          I had moved in with her after my parents were killed suddenly in an automobile accident on the way home from a weekend trip to Reno Nevada.  Even though my parents had a multitude of relatives, she was the only one who volunteered to let me move in with her family.  Her husband, Autumn Rush, was a gentle, almond colored, soft spoken man who worked two jobs to provide for his family.  He was not much of a talker, but when he had something to say it was usually constructive and on point. 

          They lived modestly in a four bedroom home with their two children, my second cousins, Monica and Morris; both favored their father in looks and skin tone.  Rhonda, my mother’s first cousin and their mother, was darker skinned and I do believe that she had a complex about her skin tone because whenever she saw a fair skinned black person she would always have something negative to say about them.  “Uppity ass half breeds think they God’s gift to the earth when any real black person knows that having a drop of white blood makes you weaker than us real black folk.”

          It was her favorite statement and she quoted it often.  In that I was lighter skinned than everyone in her immediate family, I caught hell.  Whenever she went too far and I got offended she always managed to throw the fact up in my face that she was the only one who had the decency to take  me in after my parents were killed, and she always added that it was out of the goodness of her heart, but she was full of shit.  I learned that my parents had a private will and a combined $100,000 insurance policy that stated if something were to happen to them prior to my twenty-first birthday, that $25,000 of it would go to the person(s) who took me in and cared for me, and the other $75,000 would go to me on my twenty-first birthday.  

          Now, if I really had it in me, I would have thrown that up in her face, but I decided long ago that you just couldn’t do wrong for wrong, because revenge belonged to God, and I wasn’t about to over step my boundaries, no matter how nasty she got with me.  On more than one occasion she sent me crying to the room I shared with my cousin Morris, and he would always console me, telling me that I had to over look his mother’s actions, because somewhere in her past somebody destroyed her confidence and it made her extremely insecure about her dark skin.  He said that she would never admit this fact, but he knew it to be true because his dad told him in confidence. 

          The men in the house were wonderful, but the two women, Monica and Mommy kept mess going.  Monica was a chip of the old Rhonda block from attitude to attire.  In their minds, nobody dressed better than them on their best days, and everybody else was ungodly.  Between the two of them, “In the name of God” was thrown around as if they were living a 24 hour fire and brimstone revival.  They kept so much chaos going in the church that the reverend had to finally ask Autumn if he would talk to both his daughter and wife about their negative dispositions.

          “Brother Rush, please don’t let them know that I asked you to do this, I don’t want there to be any bad blood between us.  We do value them as devoted members of the church, but it has to stop.  Too many members have come to me in confidence saying that either they straighten up or that they would be finding another church home.  They said that even though it would be a tough decision; they would rather be some place pleasant than have to deal with your daughter and wife.  I’m sorry I had to be the one to bring this to your attention, Brother Rush.” The minister told him, patting him on the hands, uncomfortable addressing the delicate subject. 

          Autumn wasted no time having the talk with his wife and daughter, but as subtle as he tried to be, it wasn’t enough to stop Rhonda from having a conniption fit.  “I cannot believe those underhanded people up at the church didn’t have the courage to face me and tell me that I was messy!” she shouted. 

          “Rhonda, you need to keep your voice down before the kids hear you,” Autumn said, in a calm, sincere tone. 

          “What?  You dare try to stifle my emotions?  I am a sensitive women and I deserve to be treated with respect.  Autumn, who at that church, has been complaining about me and your daughter?  I bet you it was one of them bull-dagger ushers who have been flapping their lips, I can’t stand none of them fat, wobbly ass, bitches!” She said, swearing like a sailor. 

          “You are overreacting, baby.  Now, please lower your voice.  I do not want the kids or our guest to hear all of this cursing.  You are supposedly a God fearing woman and here you are swearing like a damned demon,” He said. 

          I’m not sure if her head spun around or not, all I heard from where we were in the room was something crashing up against the wall (we later found out it was a glass candy dish that she had hurled).  After the crash, we then heard car keys jangling and finally the front door opening and slamming.  We weren’t sure who it was that had left, so both Morris and I quietly opened the room door, and crept down the hallway to see.

          “What the fuck are you two little bastards doing creeping around  for, get your ass back in your room or I’ll go rip a limb from off a tree outside and wrap the son of bitch around your damn naked ass thighs,” She said, with venom in her tone. 

          Both of us high tailed it up the hallway and back into the room, closed the door, and sat on our beds breathing heavy.  Morris kept asking if I thought she was going to come in and give us a whipping.  I told him that beating us was the last thing on her mind.  I said that she was probably in there trying to figure out if his dad was going to come back home, or if he was going to stay out for the evening.  If he did, I wouldn’t blame him.  I really didn’t understand what he ever saw in her crazy ass.   She was always condescending whenever she spoke to him, and I couldn’t imagine that she was any better prior to them getting married.  

          That’s why I couldn’t wait until I turned twenty one, because even though I liked August and Morris, I could not stand the females in the house.  His sister, Monica, was the biggest tattle tale and liar that I had ever encountered.  The crew she ran with was no better; they all were messy and snobby.  I remember when one of her girls tried pushing up on me and I flat out told her that I wasn’t interested in her and that she needed to bark up another tree. 

          “He must be a little faggot,” she told Monica. 

          “I ain’t never seen him with a girl, so you probably right girlfriend” was all Monica said.

          It couldn’t be because she was too messy…

          It couldn’t be because she didn’t have any class…

          It couldn’t be because she could eat a whole 21 piece barrel of fried chicken in one sitting by herself…

          It couldn’t be because she smelled like pork rinds around her flabby ass neck…

          It couldn’t be because she grunted whenever she was in the sitting position…

          No, it was because of my sexuality (which wasn’t true).   

          Bitch!

          On my twenty-first birthday, I swear that Rhonda must’ve heard the silent transaction when it occurred because once the $75,000 was transferred into my account, she immediately started hinting around about family taking care of family, and how grateful I should be for them taking me in like they did when my parents died.  She thought that I was about to fork over some of my cash, but the only thing I forked over was a firm “Thank you” which did not go over well with her. 

          “That little piss colored motherfucker got the nerve to hold out on us after all we’ve done for him.  Humph! We were the only ones who took in the little bastard,” I heard her telling Autumn. 

          “Rhonda, that boy don’t owe us nothing.  Hell, if you hadn’t have run through that $25,000 we got when he first came, we might still have a little bit in the bank, but every time I look up, you got your trifling ass up in some store buying a pair of shoes – as if you needed one more motherfucking pair!” Autumn swore, which was rare for him, and I noticed that he was swearing way more than he used to, but who wouldn’t when you had a woman as crazy as her?

          When I moved out of their home, only the two men of the family gave me a hug and wished me well, the two women stood at the door with their arms crossed and scoffed before going back into the house.  The look on my cousin Morris’s face told me that he hated to see me go, but I told him that if he ever needed a place to crash to look me up.  I also told him that visiting him at his house was probably unlikely and that if I ever saw his mother or sister again it would be too soon.  He told me he understood.     

******this story has been copywritten and has been self-published.  It is currnetly completed, and upon the final posting on Story Alley it  will be released in its entirety in print for purchase and down load @ http://stores.lulu.com/enlightenment4theheart  *************