RIPPED & READY (PART 81)

RIPPED & READY (PART LXXXI) 

          As we sped along the highway heading towards uncertainty, all I could do was reflect on how it used to be between Collin, D’Andre, Todd, and I.  Life had sure become raw reality cluttered with a misty collage of memories, distorted by deception and lies.  The bond between friends had been stretched to a new limit and I could hear it as it was being torn apart.  The laughter and cheerful images were fading so fast that I could no longer replace them and make them whole to satisfy the sentemental desires of my heart. 

          It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that D’Andre Washington had betrayed what we held so sacred at one time – friendship.  I could literally see the image of his chain dangling above me as he straddled me on the bed in my bedroom trying his best to get me to sleep with him, but just as I saw that tender moment, I could also see the hurt on his face as he awakened in that hospital chair and discovered that Collin and I had slept together. 

          The anger and rage that exploded like a cherry-bomb into a Pepsi can on Fourth of July sounded off throughout that hospital room when he called me out of my name in an effort to disguise his own frustration and pain – Collin had beat him to the punch and I was no longer a virgin of choice for him – he had missed the opportunity to connect with me on that level because of his selfishness and innate ability to lie to himself about whom he was – a closeted homosexual. 

          By the time we reached the County Hospital in San Mateo my thoughts were racing in anticipation about the birth of Collin’s baby.  If this was, in fact, his baby boy, then things from that angle were going to be okay; however, if it wasn’t his child, then that would be another factor added into the whole, sorted, and twisted story that was rapidly unfolding.  Before exiting the car, we looked around to make sure that we had not driven into an ambush situation.  In my mind, we had missed being fatalities of the unexpected more than once – and I, for one, was quickly learning to be more aware of my surroundings. 

          Once we were certain that it was safe, we leapt out of the car and headed through the doors of the hospital, taking the elevator to the floor of infant deliveries.  We walked down the pristine corridor in a rushed pace and as we approached the waiting area, Collin’s godmother, Flora-Mae was standing there, alone, visibly nervous, but  once she saw that she had company, the expression on her face shifted from tense to relaxed.

          “Collin, go on in there, you almost missed your child being born, baby,” she said, helping him into the hospital gown she had in her arms in anticipation of his arrival. 

          “I can’t, I don’t like to see blood,” he exclaimed, reluctantly putting his arms through the openings of the gown. 

          “That’s nonsense, you were just in the hospital yourself, boy, now turn around and let me tie up the strings on this thing so you can get your behind in their with Tootchie, she’s been asking for you since she went into labor,” Flora-Mae told Collin. 

          I could tell that Collin was excited and I was excited for him, but I couldn’t shake the fact that this baby that was about to be delivered could be some other dudes, so I couldn't fully bask in the moment along with my unsuspecting friends.  Todd was out of the loop with this one because it was only D’Andre and I who knew the questionable D.N.A. secret, and D was not available for consultation. 

          The four of us, Todd and his new friend Free, Flora-Mae, and myself,  went and sat down in the waiting room, and sparked up a conversation about the miracle taking place on the other side of the wall not far away from where were seated.  Even though I participated in the idol conversation, I wasn’t mentally a part of it because I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby boy’s identity.

          Was Darrius just blowing smoke to stir up controversy?

          Is all of this drama related to this baby’s identity?

          Could this little guy be another of my father’s illegitimate children?

          Did Tootchie even know who this baby’s father was?

          “False alarm,” Collin said as he approached us without the hospital gown.

          “What?” I asked, as I looked at him puzzled by his announcement.

          “The labor stopped and the doctor says that he was hoping it would because she is barely into her sixth month.  He wants her to carry the baby a little longer to avoid any complications, so he is going to keep her here a few hours just to make sure that the labor doesn’t start up again,” he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. 

          Now ain’t that about a blimp, I was ready for this shit to be over with, I said to myself, looking at him in disbelief. 

          “Nigga, don’t look at me like that,” Collin said, clearly relieved that he had been giving a temporary reprieve from fatherhood. 

          I had to chuckle because I knew where he was coming from.  We were barely old enough to be taking care of ourselves, let alone a baby, but that’s what happens when a boy and girl does the nasty without a condom.  When sperm meets egg it will produce, most of the times, the beginnings of new life – what part of that analogy don’t people get.  Babies are not brought in from a tall skinny ass white bird, nor were they found under cabbage leaves – good lord!

          I think Michael spoke the truth when he said, “…if you can’t feed your baby, then don’t have a baby!” 

          All these mofos around here having babies like it’s going out of style with no means to support them – and Collin and Tootchie were not exempt from that list of “irresponsibles”.  Here they were about to bring a bundle of God’s love into this world without:

          A job

          A plan

          A bank account

          A stable environment to raise a child

          I could go on and on with this list of “withouts” but I know you get my drift.  I tell you, the reason it takes a village to raise a kid now-a-days, is because a two-parent-income household can barely make it, so you know a two-parent-non-income-household needs the village and the next county to take care of it. 

          “Day-um” little man’s feet hasn’t even felt air yet and they needed to start beating the pavement – that is truly some fucked reality there.  I think another artist said it best when she said, “…smack dab in the middle of poverty, reality, with no one to motherfuckin’ save me…”

          “MARCO!” Collin called out, agitated by my zone out.

          I shook my head and cut my eyes at him. 

          “WHAT, NIGGA?” I said, in an equally agitated voice, because he had startled me. 

          “Where in the hell do you go to when you zone out like that, Nigga?” He asked, chortling. 

          “Some place where I can make sense out of all this shit taking place around me,” I told him.  

          “Well, you need to invite us in or visit that muthafucka when we ain’t around,” he responded, chuckling out loud. 

          “Yea, dude, you used to do that shit all the time and I see that you’re still into it,” Todd added onto Collin’s statement. 

          I couldn’t do anything except laugh at them. 

          “Let me check in with my baby, Joseph, he should be in between classes right about now,” I told them.  “Then we can go get some food, I’m fucking starving,” I said.

          “Lord, all this nigga this and nigga that, you young men ought to stop using that word, that’s what the white folks call us to belittle us,” Flora-Mae said.

          “Aww, Godmother, it doesn’t mean the same thing it meant back then,” Collin told her.

          She swatted him on the butt playfully.  “Don’t make me take off your belt,” she said, giggling.  “I’m going to go check in on Tootchie.  There ain’t no reason for ya’ll to hang around here, go on and do what men do, and if something changes, I’ll call you,” she said.

          “Yea, cuz I’m tired of being in hospitals,” Collin said.

          “Well, stay out of trouble and you don’t have to see one,” she told him, giving him a hug. 

          I checked in with Joseph and he was headed to his third class of the day.  It was 11:30AM and I was famished.  “Let’s head to IHOP and get some flap-jacks, my stomach is growling so loud right now,” I said, slapping Collin on his back. 

          We took the elevator to the ground floor, and exited the hospital.  As we approached the car we could see a note flapping in the wind.  I assumed it was some type of flyer that some solicitor had placed on the windshield so once I got there; I grabbed it and was about to toss to the ground, but when I looked I saw that there was handwriting on it. 

          My heart skipped a beat as I read it:

          “Did baby Jesus enter the world yet, Brotha Marco?” It asked.

          Son-of-a-bitch they were watching us. 

          “Got-dayum, these motherfuckers are pissing me the fuck off,” I said out loud. 

          “Let me see it, Marco,” Collin said, snatching it out of my hand. 

          “We have got to stop acting so “dayum” nonchalant about this shit here,” Todd said, snapping out of lovey-dubby mode.  “I got some war tricks up my sleeve,” he said.

          “Now that’s the shit I’m talkin’ about Todd,” Collin said, tapping his chest where he said, “this is where my piece is going to be resting until this shit comes to an end,”

          “Collin…” I said.

          “Fuck that shit, Marco, these niggas rape you and you wanna play that mutha fucka to the end by the rules,” he said, looking at me with a crazed look in his eyes. 

          I wish he hadn’t put it that way.