Just can't help it (part 3)

The next moring I hear T and Ray nem talking in the kitchin making 
some to eat. I get up and walk to the bathroom. To take a piss. On my 
way out the bathroom Ray walk pass me and gave me a look. But I wasn't 
about to entertain him so I kelp walking. I sat at da table. Listing 
to Tracy and T.-"yo jay you walking to the store with 
us?"-"yeah"-"ight come on"-I walked over and put my shoes on. And 
grabed my phone. And headed out the door Ray was behind me. T locked 
the door and start back talking to Tracy me Ray was behind them.-"so 
you not talking to me jay?"-"why you say that?"-"because you haven't said nun to me!"-"you the one looking people up in down!"-"okay ! I 
hope this not about last night!?"-"idk! You was pissin me 
off!"-"because jay look at you man!"-"and what you mean by 
that!?"-"you sexy my dude I mean you got the hair!,the body, the looks 
you dope bro!"-" okay what that got to do with any thing!?"-"I'm just 
saying every body be on yo dick. I mean every female I no like you & I 
swear nigga be joking around talkin bout if they was gay you'll be the 
first nigga they would fuck no homo. But that's why I was doin that 
last night I was thinkin we could work some out!?"-"Ray bro you coo 
people but I can't bro you see his ring man I gotta stay faithful to 
chris!"-"chris..chris.. Christiano? Basketball player bright with all 
the tattoos?"-"yeah"-"woow swear to god!"-"swear!"-"wow...I see why
you faithful lol!".it was hot as he'll out side. It really wasn't 
nobody out side it was so early. Walking up to the store I see taiiwan 
and the same niggas standing around. But I wasn't gown bother to walk 
over so I just walked in the store behind T nem..I walk to the back 
and get a bag of chips and a soda.-I hear somebody walking behind 
me-"ayaa"-I dent no who he was so I dent say nun.-"lil dude I'm talkin 
to you!"-"what!"-"ayaa hum where you no taiiwan from I seen y'all 
talkin the other day!?"-"we use to go to school together!"-"Oo okay so 
wutchu handed him last night!"-I seen taiiwan in the back tellin me
not to say nun.."I dent give him nun!"-"dude don't lie to me!" I 
walked passed him."lie for what nigga!"- I walked to the cashier and 
payed for my stuff and walked out the store. Dude walked behind 
me.-"yo jay you good?"- T nem ask-"yeah give me a min"-I stood there 
taiiwan walked up to me with ol boy.-"taiiwan imma ask you again how 
you get this money!?"-taiiwan dent say nun-"nigga I no you hear me 
talkin to you.-"I gave it to him what it's a. Problme!?"-" jay stay 
out of it bro!"-taiiwan said."nigga what!"-"dude look I don't no you 
and I got betta things in life to do then fight with you so what Eva 
man taiiwan just remember what I said!"-I turned around and walked up 
to T nem and we headed back to the house-"what y'all was talking 
about?"t ask-"nun man that's nigga taiiwan trippin man I told him 
fucking with them niggas gown have him dead watch!"-"that was 
taiiwan!? Damn son look different!"- walking back into the gate my 
phone start to ring it's chris. Telling me he out side.-"jay there go 
chris"-"yeah I no I'll see you niggas later!"-"ight". I  walked up to 
the car in got in. Chris start to drive off-"so how was your 
night!"-"I told you had to take care some!!"-I shut my mouth. And just
looked out the window.-"you goin home?"-"yeah!"-"what's wrng with
you?"-"nun chris"-"bet not be nun!". I dent say nun I just look over 
at him and noticed. A black bag under his seat!-"chris what's in the
bag?"-"Oo oo dat nun!"-"can I see!"-"nawww"-"why not!"-"because yo man
said so!"-"it's drugs?!!"-"yeah!". I took a deep breath and just layed
back.-"you mad jay?"-"I'm not happy!"-"bae after this I'm done I 
promise!"-"so that's how you get all this money!"-"kinda bae I put the 
money my grandparents up just incase some happin!"-"like what you goin 
to jail!"-"that to and for school it's just I gotta get rid of all 
this bae my momma said she don't want it in her house!"-"just give it 
away then I don't want you doin that! You gown fuck up your futur in 
ball!"-"!give it a way yeah if they got 500$ they can have it!". He 
said as He pulled up to my house."give it here!"-"give what 
here!"-"the bag nigga!"-"no!"-"chris I'm not playin it's not worth it 
I got 500$ in the house il give you the money"-"lol what you gown do
smoke it!"-"no throw it away!"-"no bae I gotta go love you!"-. I got 
out the car and watched as he drove off I had a bad feeling deep down 
that something was up. I just could put my finger on it. Walking up 
the drive way into the house. I see Janita nem all siting in the 
livingroom all quit. I just new something was up."what's going 
on?"."we don't know when we woke up we just heard your bro and your 
dad arguing". I walked closer to the stairs and I heard my dad deep as 
voice screamin so i rand up stairs. I notice my room door was open and 
some of my clothes was packed. As I got closer to my parents room I 
over her my dad say's "he's a fag living in my house!". My heart start
racing. I slowly opened the door the room got quiet."Jordan".it was my 
momma calling me. I was so scared to reply."ye ye yes ma'am"."come 
here son". I begain to walk closer my dad was standin on the other 
side if the bed with the meanest look. My bro was standin next to my 
mom."is this true?"."is what true?"."Jordan don't play stupid with me 
boy!"."I'm not playing stupid ma !"."is deon gay!?"."NO! Why would
you thing that!".my dad came out of no where."JORDAN BOY WHAT I TELL 
YOU ABOUT LIEING!"."dad I'm not lieing I have no need to lie! Ask him 
for your self!"."SO I GUESS IM THE DUMB ONE RITE RENZO AND JORDAN!".my 
bro dent say nun but I did."I guess so dad ugh ! Every time you get 
drunk you think you no every thing!".I got a lil bold because he 
wasn't goin hit me when my momma standin there."WHAT!? Jordan you 
manin up now son! You stickin up for that faggit down 
staires!?"-"ayaa pops look you cant be calling my Lil kinfolk a 
faggit!".ranzo said."And if I don't!"."STOPPPPPP". My momma yelled
out."LOOK BABY! LAY DOWN YOU HAD A LIL TO MUCH TO DRINK AND YOU GOWN 
STOP CALLING HIM A FAGGIT BECAUSE HE NOT ONE OKAY!".that's like the 
first time I ever heard my momma scream at my dad."Jordan go to yo 
room. Ranzo go to your room!"."why my clothes packed!"."unpack them 
bye give us some alone time!"-"yes ma'am ". We both said as we walked 
out. I walked to my room my bro was rite behind me. He shut the door 
and locked it and walked over and sat on my bed."bro imma just keep it 
real! I don't know about deon but I no about you!"."what you mean! ? You 
no about me?!"."Jordan I talk to kevo and he told me! And don't say it's a
lie because you got his name on your arm!".I couldn't say nun I just 
sat on the floor with my head down."Jordan you my bro I love you ight 
no matter what. If that's what you want gown head man" he said as he 
walked closer to me and sat next to me."ight Jordan"."ight bro". We 
sat there for a min intell we heard a nock on the door. Renzo got up
and opened it. It was deon."y'all ight". "Yeah we cool just having a
one on one talk but can I ask you some?"."yeah"."you gay don't 
lie?".he looked over to me and looked back at renzo."yeah..."."Oo both 
of y'all! Well like I said I love both of y'all and it's gown stay 
like that just watch what yall do. Because ether way it go its gown 
come out man!'.' yeah i no bro. . . . . ' my heart felt like it was 
about to pop out my chest. Deon came and sat next to me as my bro 
walked out the door. . . " so what now jay? We in this together?!" i
sat there with my head down for a min."yeah bro we in this together.
I just had to get out the house. I got up grabed my basketball and 
headed out side to the court. I seen my nigga deandre shooting around. 
" wasgood jordan !" "nun mann " " you ight bro look like you been 
cryin !?"-"naw man im good just goin threw some shit. . ."-"Oo i talk 
to yo bro the other day!"- he start walking closer to me. Damn im 
thinking do everybody no!-"bro so whats all this shit going on with 
you and chris! Yall niggas got each other names and when you start 
wearing rings!? Huh!"-"dude im going threw enuff i dont wanna talk 
about it!"-"well come on lets play a one on one ! Get some of that 
stress off you withcho red as!" we played intell dark hit. . . And 
headed back to his crib iwasnt in the mood to go home. " shit bro ion 
got nun in here just moved in but if you feel like talking about the 
whole thing im here!?".i knew he wanted to no because i use to come to 
him all the time when i had problms. He was like brother to me just 
older than me." ion no where to start dre! Its just so much!"-"you 
love him?!"-"if i dent i wouldnt be stressing about this!"-"well you no
its your life man just no its not gown be easy you gown hear and have 
to take a lot of shit and run with it!"-"yeah i no but its worth it 
rite?"-"ion no i never been with a man and its still kinda hard to see
you with one! You a good looking man jay ! But what ever maks you
happy well be!"-"thx dre you think i can crash here tonight?"-"yeah 
man anytime lil bro. But when imma get to meet this chris dude !?' - ' 
i guess today if i call him" -"well get on it!?"- i grabed my phone 
and walked out side for a min. . ."hello"-"yeah talk of the town 
huh?"-"huh? What you mean! Chris?"-"im just sayin everybdy all up in 
Our relationship like we doin some wrng"-"i no bae. . . .imean is all 
this worth it? Chris!?"-"yeahh jay imean if it wasnt nigga we would be 
talking"-"i said the same thing well unmmmm."-"ummmm what ?"-" 
come see me?"-" where you at?"-"dre house!"-"dre.?"-"yeah 
you no him?"-"naww i heard of him! But bae ill call you when i make it 
to houston."- walking back in the house. Dre was in the shower. So i 
just chilled and watched tv intell i feel asleep. .i hear my phone 
ringing it was chris asking me where dre stay. I got up and looked at 
the clock it was 1. I walked to dre room he had the door locked so i 
dent bother to wake him up. Bout 30min later chris called me and told 
me to walk out side. I was kind happy to see him. Truefuly ijust 
wanted to be in his arms. "why you over here and not at home?"-"dent 
wanna go home". We start walking back to the house. He grabed my hand and pulled me in closer to him and kissed me on my head. And told me he love me. I smiled as i looked away. Still tryna fingure out if this is what i really wanted !. Walking back into the house i locked the front door and walk str8 to the room i was pretty sleep and i dent want to wake dre. I knew he had too work in the morning. I layed on the bed as chris start to take of his polo boots then down to his pants and polo shirt.i layed back on the bed faceing the wall. As he layed behind me pulling me closer under him. Usally ill pull away but tonight i wanted to be under him more than anything. I closed my eyes and rest my head back under his. As i start to doze off. "baby you up?"-" i was going to sleep but im up know bae wassup?"-" just worried about you bae thats all !"-" what makes you say that chris?! "-" i mean i no about the whole thing that went down at your house yo bro came over and him and my brother was talking and i over hear them and thats when he told him that me and you was together"-" Oo well im okay i guess he no know we had a lil talk about it"-" well just no jay im all ways here for you ight"-" i no chris" i said with a smile even tho he couldnt see it. He all ways made me feel loved when we talked. And thats what i most enjoyed about being with chris." im just tryna make this money so we can get out of here so you can move with me to atl thats where im going to school."-" thats sweet but lets be real you not gown have time for me and after a min all this gown blow over from your basketball and stuff"-"bae dont think like that and ion just like basketball like that im good at it but its other ways to make money to !"-" i no but why give that up to be with me !" i said as i turned around faceing him looking him str8 in the eyes." because i care about you jay ! And i dont care about what people thing or say and i dont give a damn about becoming famous ! Money aint shit to me ! And my choice is to be with you and i mean that. And dont feel that you messing thing up i choice not to playball bae and you dont have to worry about the money thing i got you !"-"chris i care about you to i just dont want you to look back at it and be like you coulda been this big star because things gown get hard as life moves on !"-"jay i no that but shid we niggas we can get threw all that ! And i no you aint going no where baby i got you sprung and you cant say you not !"-i smiled and landed a kiss on his lips and layed my head on chest. As he put his arm's around me and hugged me tighter then he ever have.
"MORNING SLEEPY HEADS". Dre said as he sat on the bed awaking me and chris."goodmorning" chris replayed.-"So this who you been
talking about jay yo lil love bird" he said with a smile-" yes it is" i smiled back." well i got to get to work i left the keys on the table you can make you some to eat if you want to and be ready around 10:45 okay "-"for what nigga ?"-"Oo taking yall out so i can get to no chris a lil more if thats okay with him ?"-" yeahh thats fine with me" chris said. " piece out youngins got to go make this paper !" dre said as he walked out there door closeing it behind him." he seem cool"-"yeah he is like a big bro to me"-" you gown ride with me to my house i need a change of clothes you no how i get i cant stand being musty or dirty"-"lol mhmhum !"-" what you mhmhum for nigga what you tryna say shawty?"-"lol nun just you dent smell Ooso good last nite!"-" yeah i no i wanted to get my sweat and dirt all over you"-"eww thats nasty come on lets go lil musty ! lol "-" oo for real"-he said as we walked out the door down the drive way to get in the car. It took a good 15 min to make it to his house. Pulling up to the driveway i see his brother and my brother talking out side. And i noticed my momma car behind us. My heart start to pound harder. I stopped and looked out the window and leand back in my seat.-" you okay jay?"-"Nooo thats my mom behind us and thats renzo standing in the drive way !"-" Oo well what you gown do i can just come back later if you want to?"-i sat in the seat not saying a word. Thinking hard. . ." naw its time im sick of hinding who i am"- even tho deep down i new what was really about to happen.-"you show jay !?"-"yes!"- i said as i pushed the door open stepping out the car. Walking up the drive way. As my brother looked me up and down."where you been jay had a nigga worried bro !"-" i was at dre house i just needed some time along"- he pulled me to the side. ."look jay im okay with you being gay dude but this leaving shit not wassup bro. Momma not mad at you she kinda blaming her self because she's never home so its like you pretty much was learning on your own so just come home and lets talk ! Bro and dad moved out momma said she couldnt put up with him no more"-" thats cool and i wasnt running away its just dad be forcing it and i dont like that"-" and kaykay wanna talk to you !" about what know man ! Do i get a break Oomygoodness  !"-"lol naww bro pretty much you not !.
Walking into the house behind my bro. I noticed everybody was setting in the living room. I stood by the wall not saying a word with my head down. I knew everybody wanted me to start of talking but i wasnt. After a min i start getting that gut feeling about something bad. So i did what was best. Walking up to my room closeing the door behind me. I layed down on my back looking at the red light blinking on in off over my headboard. I finaly dozed off.
" JORDAN ! Where fuck you at !" i thought i was dreaming. Befor i had the chance to open my eyes i dad had hit me on my side. " I AINT RASED NO FAGGIT IN MY HOUSE BOY!". bang ! He hit me again ! .  Grabbing my hand pulling me to the floor. Bang ! I hit my jaw against the bed rail bang !A nother shot to the ribs !-" GET YO AS UP !". I start to get up slowly holding my side tears running down my face. Bang ! A hit to the chest that pushed me back on to the bed !." GET YO AS UP BOI!". Tryna be the man my momma rasid i got to my feet again fighting the pain in my chest. Tears running down my face." STOP THAT FUCKING CRYING NIGGA !" bang ! He hit me once again. I grabed my chest and fell to my knees. ."OPEN THIS DOOR !!" i here my momma scream. I can tell she was crying by the way she was screaming." GET YO AS UP !". I looked him str8 in the eyes full of anger ! With tears as well. "why jordan huh?!". . Was the last thing he said befor he opened the door and walked out. As my momma and my brother came rushing in to me. I layed on my back coughing up blood holding my chest. . It felt if i was the last of me. My pops wasnt no skinny dude he was buff as fuck bout 6'3 a good 290pounds.  I closed my eyes and just layed back. " jordan baby you okay. . . JORDANN !" i opened my eyes looking at  my momma and my brother. I never seen my momma cry as hard since my grandpa past away. " come on bro get up you ight mann " my bro say's  as he pulles me up. " janita go get him some water for me baby". My momma said as she layed me on my side." iiiiiiii it hurt ma !" i scream. She pulled my shirt up and noticed i had a big broose on my side as blood driped down from my mouth. "renzo go get a ice pack and some to get this blood up with an  bring me my cell phone". My bro rushed out the door down stairs and janita walked in the door with the cup of water." try to sit up baby drink this water". I leand up a lil befor i fell back down to my side." iiiiiiii " i grr biteing my teeth together as a tear feel down my face. I couldnt believe that had just happin. It all felt like a dream but it wasnt. I layed on my side wishing chris was here. . I felt a hand rubing the tears off my face. It was janita." you gown be okay kuzzing i love you" as she kissed me and walked out the room. . " here you go ma " she placed the icepack on my uper ribs." mmmmmmmm". " stay still jordan"-"mmmmm" as tears fell down my face even more. I dent want to open my eyes because i hate to see blood. And i had a mouth full that i just spited out." come on jordan baby you gotta lift up and wash your mouth out". . i tryed to pull my self up but my rite side wasnt having that. It felt like something was poking me every time i moved." i cant "." come on baby try " i tryed again half way making it intell my bro grabed an pulled me up. I held my side tryna controll my breathing. My side was hurting like hell. Slowly making it to the bathroom cutting the water on. Cuffing my hands with water. I opened my eyes as i spit out the water mix with blood. I felt around in my mouth making show i had all my teeth.-"danm man"-" jay im sorry mann i swear if i new it was gown go down like this bro i woulda never told you to come home bro"-" its cool renzo" i said holding my jaw spiting blood out into the sink.-"naww mann dad wroung for that bull shit hitting you like you one of them niggas on the street ! That shit aint okay jay he gown get his i promise you that lil bro just watch !!"- renzo said as he walked out the bathroom door with his  fistballed up. I washed my mouth out one more time befor i walked out the bathroom holding the ice pack on my side. I slowly walked to my room and i over hear my momma cussing my dad out over the phone. I layed down on my bed facing the wall. "ayaa jay"- i turned around it was all my kuzzins walking in the room." yeah"-" you good mann"-" im still breathing so i guess"- troy, deon and anthony walked up closer to me siting  on the bed-"damn bro yo pops down bad son !" troy said rubbing his head-" i no mann but im good bro im just gown sleep on it like a man lol"-"coo man hope you get better doe son i love you boi"-troy and deon said as the walked out the door. I hear the door close. As anthony sat on the bed cutting the tv on. " so i guess this what it comes down to huh jay !?"-" anthony what are you talking about !?"-" dude all this ! "-" all what ! Nigga." i said with anger rolling over for getting my side was hurting.-" what anthony ! Dont you see im going threw shit and you all ways coming at me with shit nigga ! What have you ever did to please me nigga ! I tryed with you anthony  so many times and you acted  so fucking fake nigga ! So dont come at me with all that [all this bull shit] ! Get the fuck out my room !!" i was so feed up with every thing.-"jay. . ."-"anthony just go dude ! ". He walked to the door  with a angry look on his face.-"No ! You no what jay"- he said as he closed the door.-"i been putting up with yo shit for to long nigga ! You making it seem like i was the bad person and nigga you was fuckin T ! And dont lie and say you wasnt ! The only reason  i put up with yo as is because i still care about you !"-" WHAT ! Nigga you care about me ! Anthony bitch you neva cared about me ! You wanted to fuck and that was it ! Like you said nigga you just wanted to see was it better then pussy ! Bitch you betta get out my room befor i raise hell !" -" nigga what you wanted ! You think i was bout to wify yo as ! You wanted all that love shit and you knew iwasnt down like that !"-" anthony you so fucking worthless ! Nigga you a good for nun as nigga i swear to god nigga you so fuck fake dude one min you jay i like you i care then the next you saying you dont ! Mann just save it bro its a done deal !"- i layed in the dark listing to the sounds that where coming threw the wall. Looking over at the clock day dreaming about whats in my futur. I no i all ways had chris by my side and i was show he wouldnt leave me but as years pass you never no what may happen. Even though i was mad in love with dude but i all ways kelp my self from falling to deep in love with him. I hear a tap on my door it was my momma telling me to take this painpill. So i did i was hoping it would put me to sleep. I just had to get this night over.
To be continued
Just can't help it part 5  .

Up early in the morning tryna brush my teeth and talk to deon and troy at the same time as anthony stood next to me acting like we dent have a argument last night.  I wash my mouth out and walk into my mom room she was still in bed sleep. I start woundering why i haven't  heard from chris and a min so i called him. [ No answer] i waited a min and called again.[voicemail]. I dent bother to recall i just walked to my bro room down stairs. Him and kaykay was in the room laying down. I walked over to her and start rubbing on her stomach. " you about to pop " i said with a smile. " i noo you see what your brother did to me lol "-" haha awe "-" but yess jordan im happy you can finaly be the real you and you feel better i heard what happen ?"-" yeah i no rite haha and yeah im good." i said getting up walk to the door. " Oo jordan befor you go umm chris said he dont have his phone and he told me to tell you call him at this number"- i walked back and grabbed the paper and walked back to my room grabbing my phone. It was a atl number. It rung for a min. Then i hear his voice. " hey" i said with a smile. " was good baby my bad i couldnt call you i just had to come feel out my collage papers i miss you jay "-" i miss you to when you coming back ?"- " today bae i gotta see you i heard about that bull shit that went down im sorry i couldnt be there for you "-" no bae its fine im good bro i just miss you ! What happen to your phone ". He cut me short and told me he love me and he gotta go. I was pretty happy he was getting his stuff together. It was time for me to get my self together. It was a week into my summer and most of it been hell !. Later that day chris called me back and told me to pack for the rest of the summer. I dent say no i wanted to get away so bad. By the time i was finish my momma was off to work so i left everybody a note and the house so they wouldnt be so worried like they was at first. I get a call on my cell it was chris telling me to come out side. I grabbed every thing i needed and plus the money i been saving up for a min know. Stepping out side the house seeing chris as i got in the car. Made me for get all about the pain. I looked at him and smile as he leand in for a kiss. " it feel so good having my baby back with me" he said as he took off. . . .



[ More stories coming soon ]  hope you guy's and lady's enjoyed it. . . Please give me feed back. Anything will do. And i thank you for taking the time out to read this store. :)