dragged... (Part 28)

                    Reality Bites

The high from my seven day cruise was ending, but I came home with fatter pockets and a rosier disposition.  I had found a new friend with connections in the entertainment industry, and she had shown me a wonderful time.  The second night of my cruise, she had all of my belongings moved to her suite on the ship, and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.  On the final day of the cruise she left me with a large Luis Vuitton trunk filled with glamorous, expensive gowns, and made a promise to me that she was going make me larger than life under her management.

She even accompanied me to the airport and upgraded my coach ticket to a first class one saying that a Diva never traveled coach. I landed at San Francisco International Airport at 1:00AM, filled with excitement, believing that all of my dreams were about to come true.  Diana Willingsly owned her own entertainment management firm and she assured me that I, indeed, had something special that deserved to be nurtured and polished. 

“Elixir, you are like fine wine, you have gotten better with time, and, dear, I need you to steer clear of old baggage.  I know that your old flame, Maddox, will try to reignite the spark between you two, but you need to hold your ground,” she told me.

“Diana, he is history, I’m telling you,” I told her, but she quickly dismissed my claim. 

“Dear, take it from one who has been where you are, men are like gum under the bottom of your shoe, you may think it’s gone, but then when you put those shoes on again and all those rocks start sticking to the bottom of your foot, you realize that it’s still there, so I’m verbally telling you that he will resurface and old feelings will stir,” she said, with a confidence that assured me that she knew what she was talking about. 

Instead of disagreeing with her out of pride, I chose to listen to her advice, because she had shown me so much in the course of those seven days, until her personal success had proven itself to me.  I clearly didn’t know as much as I thought I knew because if I had I would be flossing as brightly as she.  Miss girl had some rags and stones that shook the fuck out of my eye sockets.  I’m telling you, she had enough furs to start her own forest, and enough rocks to make Zsa Zsa Gabor cringe with envy.  She spent money like it was going out of style.  How could I not listen?

After a fabulous trip like the one I had, the cold, quiet, less vibrant surroundings of my condominium seemed cheap and disenchanting. The past seven days seemed like they were a fairytale and I know that Diana had made a lot of promises to me, but I couldn’t count my eggs before they hatched.  After all, how much did I really know about her?  Hell, she could’ve been a thief, but then, I had to believe in my heart that she would make good on all of her promises. 

When I woke up the following morning, I laid in bed for about an hour, depressed about returning to my boring life, and the last thing on my mind was making an appearance at Lilly’s, but I knew I had to show my face there, to let them know that I was not down for the count.  Instead of dressing up in drag, I decided to go as Alex Johnson, so that I wouldn’t draw unwanted attention to myself.  Besides, I didn’t want to waste any of my new wardrobe on the cheap, bargain basement queens at the club.  I had nothing to prove to them by showing up dressed in my new garments, there would be time for that at a later date. 

I arrived in front of the club around 7:00pm, and the line waiting outside was not as long as the one had been on the night of my decline.  I recognized a few familiar faces, but our association was more on the hi and bye basis, so that’s all I gave them was a quick hello and goodbye as I moved passed the, tall, fair skinned, buffed guy, who was regulating the crowd.  His name was, Charley, and he gave me a warm hello as he removed the velvet rope and allowed me to pass.  

I heard one of the queens waiting in line ask, “Why in the hell did you let her in so fast, who in the fuck is she?”

“She’s someone you wished you could be, so stand the fuck back and wait your turn, bitch,” he told her.

It tickled the hell out of me; certain privileges did have its advantages after all.  The sparse crowd inside didn’t surprise me in the least, because things didn’t really start jumping off until around 9:00PM at the club, and I was rather relieved.  Less people meant less interaction, and I wasn’t interested in idol conversation with anyone, I was only making an appearance to get out of the house; there was nothing like being held up between four walls to start a depression.  After a trip like the one I had, I knew that my surroundings would have eventually started pulling me in that direction and that was not one I wanted to be pulled in. 

“Elixir, is that you, child?” Kimora asked, excited to see me.

“Yes, love, the one and only,” I said, pleased by her acknowledgement of me; she was one of a small number of queens that I liked. 

“Well, girl, let’s go to your dressing room because I have to fill you in on everything that has happened since you’ve been away.  Oh, it is so lovely to see you, girl, and is that a tan I see on you?” She asked, rubbing my face with the back of her hand, gently. 

“You don’t miss too much now do you, Kimora,” I responded, smiling.  I couldn’t wait to fill her in on my lavish vacation. 

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to show your face around these parts again, Elixir Calhoun,” Linda Bender said, in a snotty tone as we passed her. 

“Bitch, go find some foundation to smooth out all of those bumps on your ugly ass face!” Kimora shot back. 

I tell you, there is nothing better than having a mouthpiece to fight your battles for you, and Kimora had a mouth on her.  If Linda said too much Kimora would beat her ass down quicker than two rabbits fucking.  Linda knew it too which is why she didn’t bother responding back. 

“I see some things never change,” I told Kimora. 

“Honey, that tired troll wishes she had it going on like us, but forget about her, I need to give you the rundown, girl, because our girl, Missouri, took first prize in the contest and she and Maddox’s boy, Nick, are in the thralls of a passionate relationship,” she said. 

“You’re kidding me?” I said in shock. 

“No, I’m not, and baby girl, Sunny Skies got her lights punched out by somebody from her past,” she told me. 

“Now, damn, why wasn’t I here to witness that one?” I asked her, anxious to know who did it and how. 

“Sit down, girlfriend, and I’ll fill you in on all the wonderful details,” she said, sitting across from me on the lounger in my dressing room.  I couldn’t believe I still had my own private room, but I suppose years of entertaining at Lilly’s still brought me some type of respect, thankfully, because I didn’t want to chit chat with too many of those other backstabbing ass queens in the community dressing room.

Over the course of the next hour she ran all the shit down to me, including the fact that Maddox had been seen in a twelve step meeting in a seedy part of San Francisco, looking haggard and worn down.  Sadness swept over me because, regardless of what we had gone through, I still didn’t want to see him doing bad.  I knew that Sunny was going to chew him up and spit him out, but he had to find that out on his own. 

I wanted to track him down so bad, but I couldn’t break the promise that I had made to Diana.  Whatever Maddox was going through he needed to get through on his own, because I didn’t want me helping him out to give him any false hopes of us getting back together.  I had bigger and better things looming on the horizon for me.  Besides, I didn’t want any of Sunny’s leftovers, no matter how good they looked, but you know what, I loved him, and just like Diana said, I felt old emotions starting to stir around. 

Elixir, you have to control yourself.  Don’t go backwards girl, go forward, and let him go.  I kept repeating it over and over inside of my head, but I couldn’t seem to shake my train of thought, no matter how hard I tried. 

Maddox, baby, where are you?

Stop it girl!

Maddox…