Dragged…

                          Elixir

Maddox McNair’s chiseled facial features were awed by men and admired by women.  His tall, lanky, athletic build brought life to anything he wore – from sports attire to elegant suits and his charm sparkled brighter than a perfect diamond – and when this man smiled, Lord, God, it was enough to make knees buckle and heart’s swoon.  He had a wit enhanced by a cocky confidence slightly above the line, yet alluring.  I was the object of his desire and the kicker that made many women gag is that, I was a drag queen (Not the real thing). 

The funny thing about it all is that even though they know, women seemed to ignore the fact that he was into beef and their constant pursuit of his affections had become a real nuisance to me. In the beginning I basked in the fact that they wanted him but could never have him; however, his recent roving eye had become an infamous distraction to our relationship. 

When I sashayed onto the stage to model my latest stunning blue beaded gown, all eyes were on my loveliness, and I gobbled up the attention, waved to my adoring public, and added an extra swoosh for them prior to ducking off stage and out of lime’s light.  I was the epitome of grandeur and the shimmer of glamorous, loving the accolades as much as any dope fiend who loved their drug of choice.

I looked like a million bucks but inside I felt less than a penny because I knew that I deserved better treatment than what I had been getting from my lover, Maddox.  While on stage I saw him sitting in the back of the room with his latest yummy treat and I was beside myself.  Sunny Skies was what many might call a whore; she was a chocolate colored, statuesque stunner, with a thin waist, a huge ass, and a face that reminded me of Queen-Kong.   

Her features were severe and her make-up was a throwback to the sixties; heavily applied without a polished blend.  Tonight it looked like a blue shag rug had consumed her entire body, and her facial canvass was overly striking with a shade of foundation too light for her dark skin color and the blue coating on her eye lids was caked on so heavy it looked as if it were weighing them down.

I don’t know what was more annoying; the fact that I hated her and thought she was classless or the fact that my man was giving her more attention that he was me. I knew that she was intentionally trying to throw me off of my game because the louder the applause grew, the more heated her exchange of touchy-feely got.  If I didn’t give a damn about my untarnished professionalism, I would’ve jumped off of that stage and worked her ass over, giving her that ass whipping that was long overdue, but I was lady and a lady never aired her dirty laundry in the public eye.

Maddox’s lovemaking skills ranked high in my book, and for the most part, he had always treated me like the Queen I was, but lately he had really gotten beside himself.  There was a time when he would shun all of the attention he received but lately it seemed as if he were going through some mid-life crisis, and he was acting like an asshole.  I decided to leave all of the drama for later because I refused to let him ruin my moment in the spotlight. 

My ability to doll up without missing a beat afforded me the luxury of always being ready to make the grand entrance on stage, so when the DJ started playing my anthem I was on point and poised to re-enter the catwalk for another round of modeling.  The crowd literally went wild when “The Chic Cheer” started blaring from the speakers because they knew that I was about to hit the stage.

The latest creation I was wearing was about to send shock waves throughout the crowded room – it was silver in color and made of Chiffon, with pearls strategically placed towards the bottom of it, and when I stuck my caramel colored leg out from the split in it, it revealed one of the silver, spike heeled boots that I was wearing.  I never missed a beat when I glided down the runway, looking like a supermodel.

My auburn colored wig had a flat-ironed look, and it draped over my shoulders and mid-way down my back and when I got to the end of the cat walk, I turned with such a force that it fanned around and when I stopped, it lightly hit my face, and eventually fell back into place.  My make up was flawless, and my eye-shadow was light silver, and I had heavily lined my eyes to give myself that Egyptian Queen look. 

When I began my walk back up towards the starting point, the crowd started chanting my name, and when it looked as if I was about to depart from the bright lights of the stage, they went into a frenzy and I knew that it was a request for me to make another round, so I happily obliged.  I reached the end of the walk way again and stood there looking out at all of the smiling faces, basking in the glow of me.

I was fierce.

I was splendid.

I was something they couldn’t comprehend. 

I was fire.

I was a dream.

I was Elixir. 

The look on Sunny Skies’ face was my reward; I knew I had just knocked her off of her make-shift pedestal and when Maddox saw the curt look I gave him, he quickly took his hands off of Gorilla's in the midst, smiled nervously at me, then jumped to his feet to join in on the standing ovation already in progress. 

He knew that he was in the dog house and if he thought that his little attempt at recovery was going to ease the tongue lashing he was going to receive later that night, he had another thing coming.  I was sick of his blatant disrespect and I was going to give him an ultimatum; if he didn’t cease his public disregard for our sacred relationship, then he would need to pack his shit up and get the hell out of my condo. 

Yea, that’s what I said, my condo. 

Drag didn’t pay the bills, but it worked quite nicely with my sales income and it afforded me a decent lifestyle.  I owned my residence and my bank account was decent.  The only thing he brought to the table was his good looks and his dick and I’m going to tell you something children, those two commodities I could live without and be richer for it. 

The nigga ate food like a horse, I bought all of his cloths, and I paid all of the bills at the house, so what the fuck did I really need him for?  Hell, a dildo and my right hand could do the job just as nicely and I didn’t have to worry about being bothered with a no account, playboy with an appetite for philandering. 

I remember when I first met old boy, he swore up and down that he was strictly into pussy, but when he started sniffing around more and more, asking to borrow this and that, I knew in my mind that he wanted to borrow more than a cup of sugar, he wanted to dip his stick into my honey. 

One night over wine and conversation, his hand lingered a little too long on my leg and the next thing I knew, he had whisked me up into his arms and carried me into my bedroom.  Now that wasn’t the craziest part of that experience; the crazier part was when he got on all fours and asked me to fuck him like he was a bitch. 

I’m surprised he didn’t feel my bottom jaw hitting him on the back, because it sure in the fuck did drop fast when he asked me to do that.  How in the hell did he go from a pussy chasing motherfucker to a wide receiver that damn fast?  Huh, I should’ve known right then and there what I was getting myself into. 

He says that he is down low, but how in the fuck could he honestly believe that when he spent more time in and out of gay clubs than an openly gay man? 

Yea, I don’t ask myself that question anymore.

I have seen so many married and “straight” men within the walls of “Lilly’s” going after dick until I really am wondering if there were any true straight men left on the face of the earth. 

Oh, yes, he was getting cursed out later on.

It was time to clean house and if he didn’t watch it he would no longer be a part of my glamorous life. 

I am Elixir. 

            Missouri Meadows

          My father’s mood teetered between psychopathic and overactive this morning.  Whenever he was in this type of mood I caught hell and his loathing of God manifested itself with a spew of insults, physical assaults and leers.  He cursed my mother repeatedly, blaming my sexuality on her over mothering skills and I usually did not make matters any better – especially when I came downstairs dressed like Diana Ross with a made up face, full sequence gown, and a fierce attitude. 

          He scoffed as I sat down at one of the chairs to fill my stomach with some of my mother’s wonderful breakfast goodies.  I chose to ignore his “freak” comment which seemed to backfire on me, because he picked up the salt shaker and hurled it against the wall causing my mother to jump, loose her footing, and fall to the floor with a plate of pancakes.  Flap jacks spun out in all directions and on impact she yelled out in pain.

          “Now you see what you did?  You made me scare your mother and she done fallen down and hurt herself, I bet you feel like the stone cold bitch you are,” he said, jumping up from his chair and rushing over to her aide.

          During these intense moments I felt helpless that I was not in a better position and able to support myself.  I wanted so much to have the means to free my mother and myself from my dad’s ignorance and his overbearing rule of thumb.  I prayed for God to make my dreams come true.  I wanted to work in the entertainment industry and perform for people, become a source of inspiration for those who felt unglamorous and unwanted.  

          I was excited over the prospects of the upcoming drag show in the city at a gay bar called “Lilly’s” because first prize was $5000.00 and that amount of money would be enough to get at least one more flawless evening gown and a nice pair of dazzling stilettos to match; hell, I might even have some left over to be able to put down on a nice apartment.  Getting away from The Bruiser would be the high light of my year and I just hoped that the Almighty would grant me this one, precious, wish. 

          That night though…

          When I arrived at the club it was jammed packed.  When I heard “The Chic Cheer” booming from the speakers I knew already that my girl, Elixir, had to be on stage.  As I made my way through the crowd to watch her work the stage, I noticed that Maddox, her man, was sitting in the corner with my nemesis, Sunny Skies, and my heart really went out to my girl, because I knew that she could see the vile activity taking place from where she was standing. 

          She looked stunning in her silver gown and matching silver boots, and I told myself right then and there that I wanted to be just as electrifying as her.  Everybody in the room couldn’t take their eyes off of her, and I felt so proud to call her my friend.  She told me that I had so much potential and she would gladly share the stage with me any day.  I cherished the compliment that she gave me and knew that one day I would be running in the same league as her. 

          My childhood was forgettable and I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere until I lucked up and walked into “Lilly’s” that Sunday evening a year ago.  I remember being introduced to Elixir for the first time and she was so humble, kind, and generous with her words of encouragement.  When I told her that I was too light to be dark and lovely, she made me promise to never ever put myself down in her presence.

          “My dear, black is beautiful in every shade, and I’m not sure who told you otherwise, but whomever they are, they aren’t even worthy of your time, so you hold your head up high and always remember, if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell can anybody else love you,” she said. 

          I would later learn that she got that quote from her idol, Rupaul, the ultimate Drag Diva.  Elixir said that if it hadn’t been for her, that she would have probably taken her life long time ago.  Like I, she too thought that she was an abomination and unworthy to walk the earth.  Had her father not found her unconscious that rainy night five years prior, she would have never gotten the chance to touch as many people as she had in her reign as top Diva at “Lilly’s”.

          When she took her final bow, she leapt of stage gracefully, and moved amongst the crowd to greet her loyal following.  Her man, Maddox, quickly joined her and when he grabbed her by the arm, she snatched it away, cut her eyes at him, and continued meeting and greeting her fans. 

          “Hey, beautiful,” I said, kissing her hand.

          “Bitch, you had better stop that shit,” she said, bowing and blowing kisses.

          I giggled.

          She grabbed me by my arm and said, “Missouri, follow me girl, I need somebody to talk to…yes, thank you, I love all of you.” She continued acknowledging her well wishers, while moving gracefully through the sea of people. 

          She leaned back towards me and told me, “Girl, you better help me get through all of these people before I lose it.” She said, cheesing with graciousness. 

          “Baby, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Maddox said, trying to get her attention. 

          “Not now, Maddox,” she said, speaking through her smile like a ventriloquist. 

          I tell you, she was a living example of how not to crack under pressure.  I knew that she wanted to tell him off but she refrained out of respect for the club and its patrons.  It was one of the first rules that she had ever taught me; do not air your dirty laundry out in public ever; let them remember you for your grace and composure, never your drama and shortcomings.

          “It’s all part of the grand illusion, my dear,” she’d say. 

          “That’s where so many of the great divas went wrong, they let the world catch them with their slips showing,” she’d say.

          Much of what she said didn’t make any sense to me because where I grew up if somebody disrespected you, then you needed to rake out the Vaseline and let them know that you weren’t the one; however, her opinion of me mattered a lot so I abided by her rules.  Lord knows some of these damned queens in “Lilly’s” could work a nerve.   

          By the time we made our way into the dressing room, my girl had started to come unglued.  The worry and frustration was showing on her face and it was transforming her from glamour queen to a rage machine.  Maddox somehow managed to make it past security and his begging had gotten the best of her. 

          “Maddox, I think you need to leave her alone until she calms down,” I begged him. 

          “Missouri, this is between me and my woman; so please, leave us,” He asked, clearly agitated by my presence.    

          When I moved towards the door, my girl grabbed me and told me to stay.  “Maddox, how in the fuck are you going to come up in here and dictate to my company when I’m the head bitch in this damn dressing room?” She said to him, with one hand on her hip, nodding her head up and down in that I’m-going-to-curse-your-ass out way.    

          “Baby, you know that Sunny Skies don’t mean shit to me,” he said, sounding like a liar first rank. 

          “Bitch, my name shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth,” Sunny Skies exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere.

          Well, you must know that my girl, Elixir blew her stack. 

          “You skanky ass tramp, get your ugly ass out of my damn dressing room, didn’t nobody invite your filthy,trifling ass in here,” she yelled, rushing towards Sunny Skies with the speed of a running back. 

          I blocked her to prevent and onslaught of fists and nails.

          “MISSOURI GET OUT OF MY WAY, I’M GONNA WHIP THIS TORE DOWN ASS QUEENS ASS TONIGHT!” Elixir screamed.

          “Calm down, baby, please, you are too much of a lady for this,” Maddox said, pushing me out of the way and holding Elixir back.

          Once I saw the look on my girls face, I turned to Sunny Skies and point blank told her, “Bitch, if you value your life, you need to get your scuffed up shoe wearing ass outta here with the quickness,” I told her, pushing her backwards.

          “This ain’t over, bitch!” Sunny Skies screamed.

          Elixir managed to grab a piece of Sunny Skies’ nappy wig, and when she gave it a tug, it slid off of her head, exposing her stocking covered head. 

          Laugher replaced the mayhem.

          Sunny Skies snatched the matted up wig from Elixir’s hand and fled from the room embarrassed, licking her wounds like a moth-eaten cat that had just gotten it’s pussy kicked.  I tell you, when I saw her without that damned wig on, holding her head, and running, I just knew that I was going to bust a seam in my sequined dress.  It was priceless and I’m sure that Maddox thought that all of the laughter had let him off the hook. 

          “Missouri,” my girl said, motioning for me to leave.

          I kissed her on both cheeks like the French did, and told her that I would wait for her out in the bar area.

          “See ya later, Casanova,” I said to Maddox, pinching him on the cheek. 

          He knocked my hand away.

          “Quit,” he said.

          “Oh, fuck no, you were the one that needed to quit it, nigga,” Elixir told him, slapping him across the face so hard that it shook both sides of his cheeks.

          Damn, I wish I could’ve been a fly on that wall to see what took place after I left. 

          “What’s going on in there,” the manager, Bartholomew Casper asked, looking past me to see what all the commotion was about.  

          “It’s a showdown, gun slinging, shoot’em up.  Now, what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here,” I asked, snickering.

          Lilly’s was truly a safe haven for us, but I knew that before it was all said and done, something was going to go down here that was going to affect a lot of us, I just didn’t know what that something was going to be. 

          “Here’s to our Diva, Elixir,” I said, lifting my Martini glass.

          “Here, here,” the crowd around me said in unison.